The hardest part of this assignment for me was choosing what type of community to join. The only online communities I have been a part of in the past were ones that were for expecting moms, which I joined during each of my pregnancies (then no longer had time to participate in once I had a newborn in the house) or that had something to do with my children. I decided right away that I would join something that I was interested in that didn't involve my children. Since many of my interests and activities (and life in general) revolve around my kids, this was easier said than done. I found I liked the format of the message boards on iVillage and felt most comfortable joining a group of parents on a message board called “Reality TV Junkies”. I thought this was a good fit since I love reality shows and this assignment happened to fall around the time Big Brother 11 I thought it was a good choice to assimilate myself with others that were just as crazy about these shows as I was.

I spent a few days lurking on the board, taking the advice from Virginia Shea in our Wood & Smith reading, to “Lurk before you leap.” (page 135). I wanted to make sure it was a message board that I would feel comfortable posting on and that had people with similar interests as I did. I also wanted to find out how and where on the board people introduced themselves so I didn’t look like a complete newbie! I posted my introduction, told about myself and which reality TV shows were my favorites and expressed my excitement for the upcoming Big Brother season, I also mentioned that I loved the great “siggys” everyone had and asked how to get one. I had many people respond to my post to welcome me to the board and show me where to go to meet other Big Brother fans. I was also referred to some other message boards to find someone to make me a siggy, which I quickly did…afterall, everyone else had one! Once I was welcomed and had my custom signature so I felt like I “looked” like less of a newbie, I joined in conversations and posted my opinions and comments on the current topics. I felt like I was quickly accepted into the group because people responded to my posts, laughed at things I said and related to me as a person. I think what really made this group work so well is that while the main common interest was reality TV, they also had a section of the board where they talked about their personal lives, problems, other interests and tried to really get to know each other in other ways as well. I felt very comfortable posting and while there were many disagreements about topics, it was done in a respectful way that wasn’t negative. I also found that while many people like to find out “spoilers” (information about the show that can spoil the surprise or suspense) and post them, they had a section of the board just for this so others didn’t have to read them by mistake, I thought this was very considerate to the people who wanted to wait until the show aired to find out.

I think that joining this internet community showed me a lot about people and how they interact with others with common interests. I found that the majority use the same standards that are used in the real world and try to respect others, I think the netiquette rules found in the Wood & Smith text were followed on the message board I joined and it made it a very enjoyable experience for me. I plan to stay active on the Reality TV Junkies message board since I really enjoy the community and being able to talk to others with similar interests.

Also, I just wanted to share my message board signature since I was so happy with it and really felt it helped to make me a REAL person to the others on the board.

Snail Mail vs. E-mail...which is more personal?

When reading about this assignment, I was excited to have the chance to express my feelings to people who really impact my life. I love being able share my feelings with the people I love and feel that I am able to relay my true feelings more effectively through the written word. Choosing two people to write to was not very difficult since I chose THE two people who have had the biggest influence on my life.

First, I chose to send an e-mail to my Mom. I talk to my Mom on the phone multiple times throughout the day, so I knew that receiving a letter from me (regardless if it were via e-mail or long-hand) would be a surprise to her. I figured there is no one who could have had more of an impact on my life than the person who gave birth to me and who also happens to be my best friend. Although we talk daily, it is rarely about anything in-depth and is more about our daily activities and telling her about her grandchildren. Writing a note to her and thanking her for all that she has done for me, made me feel good and made me really appreciate this assignment for giving me an opportunity to do something I should have done anyways. I found that while the e-mail was not very long in length, I was able to say what I felt and get it to her quickly…she read it the following day (when she happened to be at my house visiting) and hugged me and told me how much I meant to her.

The second person I chose to write to is my husband, John. Initially I was going to e-mail him, but decided that it would have much more of an impact for him to receive “snail mail” from me. Needless to say, he was pretty surprised to find mail from a person he lives with and sees each day. I found this letter a little more difficult to write, I’m no longer used to sitting down with pen and paper…and then I had the difficult task of hunting for an envelope and stamp! This letter ended up being much longer in and I went into more detail and felt like I was conveying what I was feeling better than when I wrote the e-mail. Also, I feel that the handwritten letter was much more meaningful and personal to my husband and he was very pleased that I took the time and wrote him. Although I had hoped he would write back, he isn’t really one for writing and just told me how he felt through words instead. It really made for a great way for me to express my appreciation for someone who I take for granted many times.

In our Postman reading this week, he talks about the information glut and that there can be TOO much information out there, especially with the invention of new technologies. One example of this was the invention of the telegraph which, according to Postman “The telegraph removed space as the inevitable constraint on the movement of information, and, for the first time, transportation and communication were disengaged from each other.” (page 67). I think of this in relation to the invention of computer and the use of e-mail and see how this has, once again, drastically changed communication between people. Gone are the days that we sit down and write to people who may live far away from us, more likely than not, sending an e-mail is easier to do (how lazy have we become that finding paper, pen, envelope and stamp is a hardship?) and the message arrives instantly to the other person. While the use of e-mail does make things faster, are we losing something with the use of it? After this assignment, I realize that when sending e-mail instead of a written letter, we do lose something…to me; e-mail just seems much colder and maybe a little TOO easy. If you really want to convey a message to someone, a hand-written letter just seems so much more personal and shows you really put for the effort for that person.

Who I am...on Facebook

I was really happy about this assignment since I am an avid Facebook user. Although I do not fit into the “typical” user age range of 18-24 years old (I’m 29) you can find me on Facebook daily. Yes, I am one of those people that changes my “status” throughout the day so everyone can see what I am up to at all times, I add pictures all the time and use all the silly applications that are available! No, I do not think that anyone really cares about my daily activities, but I enjoy seeing what others are up to and like having that connection with people, so whom I may not see very often. I use Facebook to connect with friends, those I see daily and some who I have not seen in years. I love that I am able to post pictures of my family to share with everyone; using Facebook for this saves me time and is so much easier for me. I think that Facebook makes me feel like I have a closer connection to many friends who live far away and makes it so much more convenient to communicate with multiple people in one place.

I really enjoyed evaluating the way I portray myself through social networking. At first, I thought I wouldn’t learn much since I am constantly changing my status to reflect my daily life…but, I quickly noticed that I do not always reveal everything and often times only say things I think that will show me in the best light. Before I write things, I think about who is able to read what I write and take caution to only write what I want everyone to read. For instance, this week I was having a particularly bad and stressful day, if I had wanted to be completely accurate, I would have set my status to show: “Melissa is pulling out her hair and going crazy today. I wish this day would end.”, but instead I posted: “Melissa thinks this day is going very slow”. Why would I lie like this? The honest truth is that I don’t want to reveal to all of my “friends” that I have faults, that I get stressed out and annoyed and just want to sleep the rest of the day away. Instead, I want to portray myself in the best light possible, especially considering some of the people who can see that information are people I work for or that I see often, although I want people to know what I am up to, I don’t want to be 100% honest all the time.

After reading chapter 3 in Wood & Smith, I realize now that I am using self-presentation online “the process of setting forth an image we want others to perceive”, I think this is especially true since a large number of the people I have as “friends” on Facebook are people who I see and interact with often. In my case, I am not creating an online identity, but filtering what I say and do so that my online identity closely matches my real-life identity because this social network is not one where I am anonymous or where I am using a pseudonym, but it is just an extension of my real life. I think this is true for a lot of society that is on MySpace or Facebook since it seems like the majority of people are interacting with people they know and may even see on a day-to-day basis. I think social networking sites likes these do give us a small sense of anonymity, but not enough for us to try to break out of our “normal” mold or to have an identity much different than who we really are.

Online Identities in You've Got Mail

The movie “You’ve Got Mail” shows the interactions between two people Kathleen Kelly (Meg Ryan) and Joe Fox (Tom Hanks) both in the internet and real world. Often times the Internet is a way for people to create new identities of themselves, much different to the way they act in real life, in this movie I think that neither Kathleen nor Joe tried to hide who they were in real life. Neither one tries to disguise they type of person they are and if anything, they were much more open and honest with each other about their thoughts and feeling through their online identities then they probably would have if they had initially met face-to-face. Both characters talk to each other about the little things in life, whatever is on their minds, they “talk” about. These little things give each insight into the other person without revealing any personal details, details that probably would not be talked about in real life, but make interesting conversation online.

I find it interesting that the personality that each person finds wonderful online, is something they hate in each other in real life. Kathleen feels the online Joe is wonderful, caring and considerate, but thinks the real-life Joe is arrogant, mean and rude. Joe thinks the online Kathleen is sweet and innocent but, thinks the real life Kathleen is annoying and naive. Without revealing personal details, Kathleen tells Joe her wish that she could say what comes to mind and have witty comebacks to her “enemy”. In response, Joe gives her tips and tells her not to hold back and to remember it is just business, nothing personal…neither one realizing that Joe is the enemy bookstore owner and Kathleen is the “pesky” independent bookstore owner. Kathleen in turn, uses Joe’s advice against him which turns into a battle between the two.

Once Joe realizes that it is Kathleen he is chatting with, he initially dismisses the relationship with her due to their real-life dilemmas. After talking to her more online and seeing her in real life and combining the two identities, he comes to respect and love her as a person and then uses both of his identities to make her realize she feels the same way.

Early in the movie, it shows both Kathleen and Joe going about their daily routine, thinking about the other but, not knowing how closely they come into contact each day. The movies shows them stopping for coffee at the same Starbucks within seconds of each other, passing by each other multiple times and working right around the corner from each other…never knowing that the person next to them is the one. While I don’t think this is the most common thing to happen, especially in a city as huge as New York, it is something that can happen. By keeping real and internet identities separate and not revealing personal details, you could be chatting with virtually anyone…your neighbor, your best friend, or in this case...your worst enemy!